A Picky Person's Dream Thanksgiving Dinner
Let me first preface this by saying I a normally avoid making decisions - especially in a group setting. I’d much rather just go along with someone else’s decision if it matters to them. I’m usually very easy to please so any decision that makes everyone else happy is a “win” in my book.
Now let me also say that I am insanely specific on the tiniest of details when it comes to my own things. While I am perfectly happy with most things for the sake of the group, “my” things must be done a particular way, or how I would say, “the correct way”. These can be things wholly based on preference that don’t matter (in the grand scheme of things), but can also be things that only make sense doing it one way.
When it comes to food, these are also all based on preference. I don’t just stick to the first way something was prepared for me, I try foods in many different ways. Some of these food preparations are relatively new to me, but if it’s the best final product, to the victor goes the slot in my ultimate Thanksgiving Dinner.
Every family can have their own list of what belongs on a Thanksgiving Dinner menu, but the traditional foods that I expect to see are the following:
Turkey
Stuffing (or Dressing)
Mashed Potatoes
Gravy
Green Bean Casserole
Sweet Potato Casserole
Rolls and Cornbread
Cranberry Sauce
Pumpkin Pie
Pecan Pie
Ice Cream
Starting with that list, here are my thoughts on the best way to prepare each of these dishes (and a couple additions that I love having on Thanksgiving):
Turkey:
Turkey is the centerpiece of the meal. There are many ways to prepare the bird (brined, roasted, deep-fried, etc.) but no matter the method, my favorite way is carve up the bird beforehand and separate the white meat from the dark meat. Cook them separately since the dark meat needs to finish at a higher temperature than the white meat. Dancing this line can lead to dry white meat, similar to cardboard, and no one wants to see others choking down the meat they worked so hard to cook.
I like brining the white meat in pickle brine and then cooking it sous vide to 150 degrees. Then I finish the meat in a pan with butter, thyme, and garlic, basting the meat until the internal temperature reaches 165 degrees. For an extra bit of showmanship, brushing on a glaze of hot honey at the end is excellent.
For the dark meat, I like to keep it simple and keep the legs whole - I also like to buy extra turkey legs so every adult has their own. With a turkey’s breast, you can slice the meat and allow everyone to have a couple slices issue, but if we’re being honest, everyone loves having a whole leg on their plate. And if anyone is not a leg-lover, then watch as the others scarf down their first plate and try to come back for that left-over leg. For my favorite turkey leg recipe, click HERE.
If you MUST have a whole bird in the oven, then you have to spatchcock that beast. Spatchcocking allows the bird to lie flat and makes cooking both types of meat without drying-out the breast meat. It’s the best way to make a whole turkey in the oven.
Before moving onto the rest of the meal, the most important thing to remember is that a Thanksgiving meal is about the side dishes! If you are entrusted to bring a side to the meal, DO NOT FU** IT UP! Your dish should be empty by the end of the meal. If not, you either made too much, or it was not good enough for the multiple trips. Also, you’ll know what your family thinks of you or your cooking if they give another person the same dish to make as you. Usually this is in case you forget to make your dish or if they need an alternative if you’re the wild card in the family.
Dressing (or Stuffing):
Fun fact: While many times it involves the same ingredients, stuffing is made inside of the turkey, and dressing is made outside of the bird.
Whether you call it stuff stuffing or dressing, we can all agree that this is a staple that must be on the table. I prefer dressing because cramming the ingredients into the bird and letting it cook that way usually comes out soggy and loaf-like - not my favorite cup of tea.
As a devout believer in dressing, I believe great dressing should have the colors of autumn and the right mix of herbs to put everyone in the mood for family-time. Put that candle away Nana, For many people, this is the only time of the year that they will have this so it’s crucial to avoid the box, and let the kids help out with this one.
Dressing should be made with a loaf of bread that is STALE, NOT stale a stale loaf of bread. Do not use a stale loaf, tear the bread the day before and allow the pieces to get that way overnight, naturally - work smarter, not harder. Tearing a stale loaf is not fun, but cutting it doesn’t give the craggles and variation that matter so much so do it my way and save yourself the hardships.
I like to mix sourdough and ciabatta bread for my dressing, but I have friends that have tried rye, baguettes, whole wheat, multigrain, and brioche. Pick a bread that you like the taste of but I’d stay away from Rye or other strong-tasting breads. There are other ingredients in this dish so choose your bread for the texture and leave the other ingredients to add flavor.
To make it simple, tear the bread (crust and all) the night before into 2-inch pieces the day before and leave it on a rimmed baking sheet, uncovered, for the next day or two (it should fill 2 baking sheets at least). Next, mix olive oil, a stick of butter, several cloves of garlic, and 1 large, chopped white onion in a skillet over medium-high heat. Add chopped celery, salt, red-pepper flakes and white wine to the skillet. Cook for 5 minutes, or until the white wine has reduced by 70-75%. Remove the skillet from the stove.
Next, add 3 whole eggs and 2.5 cups or broth (chicken, turkey, or vegetable are all good) to a bowl and whisk together. Then place the bread in a separate, larger bowl (the bigger, the better) and add your celery & onion mixture, along with parsley and chives over the bread. Stir to coat the bread and aim for an even distribution, but DON’T crush the bread. Then pour the egg mixture over everything and toss/stir to incorporate. Go wash your hands and then return and stir for another minute or two. You want the liquid to absorb and evenly coat the bread.
Then, place the bread mixture to a baking dish, but don’t pack it in and crush the bread. You want to keep the bread as light as you can and packing it together or crushing it will made it dense and loaf-like. The corners will get crispy so blot a little butter there if you don’t want super crispy parts.
Cover with foil and bake at 375-degrees until the stuffing is sizzling at the edges and complete cooked through (this will take 25-30 minutes). If it’s not time to serve, take it out of the oven and set it aside. If it’s SHOW TIME, remove the foil and increase the oven temp to 425-degrees. Bake the stuffing until crispy and golden-brown on top (this will take another 20 minutes or so).
Mashed Potatoes:
I’ll keep this simple: mashed potatoes are ALWAYS better with the skins! I don’t care how you make it, whether you use a lot of butter, cream, milk sour cream, or mascarpone cheese, the texture that come with potato skins is crucial and without it, this is just baby food. I know that some of you are furious because you love sifting your potatoes through a strainer or a ricer, but try it my way and if you don’t like it, bring your version to Thanksgiving. My feelings will not be hurt - that means more for me!
I like my mashed potatoes lumpy and with skins. This means more work for a lot of people, but I’m willing to do that for the best, overall product.
Start with Yukon Gold (for creamier potatoes) or Russets (for a lighter, fluffier potatoes) potatoes and after washing them (Russets require more scrubbing during the washing phase), cut them into 1-2 inch pieces. Add the potatoes to a salted, simmering pot of water. Continue to simmer until the potatoes are fork-tender (15-20 minutes). Next drain the cooked potatoes and return them to your saucepan and cover with a clean dishtowel for 5 minutes (this allows the potatoes to absorb any excess moisture and keeps them from becoming watery.
Using a fork ( a potato masher or food mill works too), mash the potatoes and 2-3 tablespoons of softened butter until to your lumpy liking. Next, add roasted garlic and fresh chives to the mix and stir to combine.
Gravy:
The best gravies are meaty, rich, salty, and tangy. It shouldn’t overwhelm anything with too strong of a flavor, rather we’re aiming for rich and meaty with a depth of salty and tangy. You want a gravy and someone can cover their sides and not make everything taste the same. Your gravy is responsible for saving every dry dish so don’t skimp on the quantity. Make several (gravy) boats worth, no one likes the feeling of an empty gravy dish and Aunt Lenore’s brick of a vegan loaf that must be consumed by everyone. Left-over gravy has never been a bad thing, but if you allow the gravy to run out, don’t try looking anyone in the eyes for the rest of the evening. You have been warned.
Put the turkey neck, any discarded turkey pieces (wing tips) and extra bits (that came with the bird) to a baking sheet and roast in the oven until the skin is browned. In a large pot, add cut garlic, onions, carrots, celery, thyme, and a bay leaf to a large pot - Don’t bother to peel these beforehand, you will strain later (we just want the stock). Next, add the turkey parts you just browned to the pot, use water to de-glaze the baking sheet (easier with a hot sheet), and add the bits stuck to the baking sheet (you want that flavor)! Cover everything with water and simmer for the next 3 hours.
Next, strain the stock (and pick out the wing tips and other meaty parts to snack on while you cook) into a bowl. In a medium pot, brown a stick of butter and add a cup of flour, whisking continuously until light-brown. Begin adding your stock to the rue while constantly stirring and add a sprig of thyme. Add more flour and stock until you get the amount your heart desires.
When serving, use the gravy boat(s) of your choosing, but if you’re the kind of host that’s going to wait until everyone else has made a plate before making your own, then you should be on gravy duty for the first plate. If you’re the kind of family that all sit together at the table and pass around dishes, then multiple gravy containers at different parts of the table are needed. The biggest kink in any smooth Thanksgiving is ‘no more gravy’. The looks that follow this realization are the biggest triggers for me to start panicking and stammering my way through a refill & vociferous explanation that no one cares for. Give the people what they want and that is GRAVY.
Green Bean Casserole:
I’ll be honest with you: Green Bean Casserole is a food with the least amount of reward as a cook. Most people want a veggie on their plate and this checks that box. Unfortunately, if people were honest with you, they like their mom or grandmas’ casserole and don’t really care for anyone else’s. So the way you like to make it, however that is, just remember two things:
Don’t let it be too soupy. Soup is soupy, casseroles are not. If you’ve never been told this or pieced it together yourself, take this as fact and continue on. Watery dishes are bland so unless your green bean casserole relies heavily on its broth, leave the gloopy mess for another relative to bring. Also, if it does rely heavily on a broth component, gross.
Put more deep fried onions on the top than you think is necessary. More people will be please with your dish if there’s enough crunch in every bite. Whatever amount of crunchy onions you think looks good, double it. If that’s gross to you, then make a aioli or mild sauce and decorate the top of the dish with lines of the sauce.
Sweet Potato Casserole:
Fun Fact: Sweet Potatoes and Yams are not the same thing. I know many parts of the country use the word interchangeably, but if this is new to you (and matters), here are the differences:
They are different species of plants.
Sweet potatoes are from the Morning Glory family (Convolvulaceae) of plants.
Yams are from the Dioscoreaceae family.
They come in many different colors but the skin reveals all.
Sweet potatoes have a smooth skin, similar to a potato (hint, hint)
Yams have a rough skin, similar to the bark of a cedar tree, or your favorite character with greyscale from Game of Thrones.
Their taste is very different.
Sweet potatoes have a sweet flavor and a nice starchy texture.
Yams are drier and starchier. I’d describe their taste as that of dirt. The more culinarily inclined may explain it as earthy, but dirt is dirt and in a blind taste test, the mouth-feel is identical and the only difference between yams and dirt is in the swallow (which I refuse to compare again).
Sweet Potatoes are move versatile due to having more moisture.
Yams have more calories.
Sweet potatoes are found easily in US grocery stores, but Yams are normally found in international grocery stores.
If case you haven’t figured it out already, all American Thanksgiving dishes use sweet potatoes. If you try the same dish with yams, it will be better as fertilizer than as plate filler. No amount of honey or marshmallows can overcome the mouth-feel of giving a person with greyscale a hickie. Maybe Molly Shannon likes the feel of kissing trees, but you don’t want to be that kind of Superstar!
I don’t like sweet potato casserole but those that do are passionate with their preferences. Let me give you three tips if you’re going to have it at your Thanksgiving Dinner:
Watch the water content. Sweet potatoes are a moist spud and unless you cook the moisture out, they can steam your other things in the oven or too soft.
Whether you put honey on it or not, do not forget the marshmallow topping. I’ve seen such dishes go untouched by people under the age of 55. Also, use marshmallows, and not marshmallow cream. Marshmallow cream can get runny if the moisture hasn’t been cooked out of the sweet potatoes so stick with the pillows coated in corn starch; they’re more forgiving during the bake.
If you also don’t care for sweet potato casserole, then ask if someone would like to bring their version to your dinner. Let them worry about it. No one’s ever earned a Michelin Star based on their sweet potato casserole, but many have become a villain (especially if you have a vegan relative).
*I know I shit on Yams so far, but if you want the best dishes involving yams, go to a good African or Caribbean restaurant. They know how to get the best out of it, so enjoy eating it when it’s done right.
Rolls and Cornbread:
Rolls and Cornbread are important and serve different purposes in the meal.
Rolls are great for helping to push food onto the fork, sop-up excess sauce or liquids, and create make-shift sandwiches to combine dry turkey breast with other foods to make it more palatable. Rolls can be purchased as a finished product if you don’t have the time or oven space so if this is your play, Sister Schubert’s Yeast Rolls and Hawaiin Rolls are the way to go. With either choice, make a little butter & honey mixture, brush it on top, and throw them in the over for a few minutes to warm up. If you want to bake some pre-made rolls, Pillsbury Butter Flake Crescent Rolls are the go-to for both nostalgia and taste. And if rolls really matter to you, make Alison Roman’s Dilly Rolls - no one is beating this in my book.
Cornbread falls apart if you try to use it like a dinner roll. Its best roll is in mixing it with soupy dishes (from other relatives - I know you’ve learned better by now) or combining it with the last bits of food while finishing your plate.
Don’t buy already-made cornbread. This should be made on the day and preferably from scratch. If someone is happy to do it, let them; that person is probably going to make a good one. It doesn’t matter if its made with buttermilk or if its baked in a cast iron pan, great cornbread can come from almost any preparation. The only thing that matters is that it is able to fall apart once I want it to. It shouldn’t be cakey. This should be a mildly sweet, cornmeal texture, with a good edge from the bake and no grit.
Cranberry Sauce:
I don’t like cranberry sauce so I don’t bother with it. I do have family members that love it so I recommend having a canned, jelly-like cranberry sauce (from Ocean Spray) and a homemade sauce (here’s one that was a big hit at my Friendsgiving Dinner).
Pies:
The two best pies for Thanksgiving are Pumpkin Pie and Pecan Pie.
For my new favorite pumpkin pie, here’s Rick Martinez’s version. If you don’t have the time or kitchen space for that, get the canned stuff and just make the crust. Whipped cream and vanilla ice cream can elevate any can of pumpkin mix. If that’s still too much, and you need to get a finished pie at the grocery store, make sure you heat it up before serving it. A warm first bite will also improve the quality of a grocery pie.
I’ve never attempted to make one, but Pecan Pie is amazing when done right. Hopefully, you have a relative that makes a good one, but if you’re like me and aren’t so fortunate, I got one from my local farmer’s market that hit the spot. Once again, let it get some oven time before serving.
If you want something a little different this year, I have two great options for you:
Pumpkin Maple Muffins by Alison Roman. If you’re more excited about ice cream than pie, make these.
If you want a pie that combines the best of both pies and have a teenager that like to bake, have them make this Caramelized Maple Tart by Alison Roman. A friend brought this to my Friendsgiving Dinner and it was gobbled up faster than any pie I’ve seen at a Thanksgiving Dinner.
*I love Alison Roman’s recipes. If you ever want to try baking something, check if she has a version of it. They’re the first I try.
Ice Cream:
For Ice Cream, you just need three kinds: one for the pie, one for the kids, and one with no sugar. If someone needs an ice cream for a specific dietary need, have them bring it. You have made an entire dinner! If they can’t bring a carton of ice cream, then they don’t need it that bad.
For the pies: Vanilla Bean Ice Cream. My go-to favorite is Haagen-Dazs Vanilla Bean Ice Cream. My second favorite is Ben & Jerry Vanilla.
For the kids: a box or two of Dumstick Cones. Try to focus on the variety box options, you can’t go wrong there.
For the people that need to watch their sugar: Halo Top Oatmeal Cookie, Edys Slow Churned Light Butter Pecan, and Blue Bunny Sweet Freedom Salted Caramel Craze Light Ice Cream are all good options. For those that want a little more fun, Breyer’s Carb Smart Ice Cream Bars are a favorite among grandparents that don’t want the fuss of a bowl.
My Additions to Thanksgiving:
On the menu, I love a hash brown casserole. My sister has always made one and although it’s another carb to the menu, my pancreas will pick up the extra work for the joy it bring to my soul.
I love to mix my pumpkin pie with a slice of cornbread. Sometimes pumpkin pie needs a little more texture than what the crust provides so I like to set a slice of cornbread on top of my pie and mash them together with my fork. Then I get a scoop of vanilla bean ice cream and I’ll be in my own world for the next few minutes (talk amongst yourselves).
I like to dress up in my pajamas and go to a movie after dinner and a little family time. I like to get away from the group after dinner and games so invite your favorite family members to a movie and come back for more dessert afterwards.
If there’s not a good movie out or you actually enjoy spending time with your family, have a game night with your clan. Choose the game depending on the players. If politics comes up too often, play charades or catchphrase. If people are more reserved and need a little assistance opening up, Apple to Apples (if kids are present) or Cards Against Humanity (if kids aren’t a concern) can be fun options. If you’re more intense as a family, may I recommend Taco Cat Goat Cheese Pizza. If everyone likes to make jokes and laugh, Jackbox Games on the Nintendo Switch is great (specifically, Quiplash, Fibbage, Trivia Murder Party, and You Don’t Know Jack. If you have a Nintendo Switch and have 4 or less people, I must recommend Heave Ho. It’s a lot of fun!
I like making a quiche with the leftovers from Thanksgiving. It’s really the only time I’ll eat sweet potato casserole and I’ll even use the cranberry sauce as a glaze on top (sometimes). Make a couple eggs (over easy) let the quiche and another batch of freshly-made dilly rolls all come together or a great breakfast for you and any family members or friends that you are hosting.
If you have any recipes to recommend or any Thanksgiving traditions that you’d like to add, please comment below.
