Make It Better: Public Restrooms
My entire life public restrooms have terrified me. Since I was a child, #2's have required the comfort of my own porcelain throne to keep my mind at ease. This fear made vacations, road trips, and camping hell for me growing up and if I could make improvements so another germaphobic child can avoid the hardships I went through, then that is my duty for this week.
I understand the reasons most public restrooms are awful: they don't earn money and most people are uncivilized and just break things. Business owners see the restroom as a never-ending expense and will do everything they can to buy cheap materials and keep upkeep to a minimum. These people are not the target audience of this message. I am hoping this reaches the people that can see the value of a proper bathroom for their patrons. A great bathroom adds incalculable value to a business when you really think about it. There are hundreds of restaurants and gas stations that I avoid simply because I've seen (and smelled) their bathroom. The risk of being in their establishment and having to touch their gross door handle or the hepatitis-infested sink in the event of an emergency keeps me at bay. So my goals are simple: eliminate the worst problems with public restrooms and keep costs low enough to make these changes a realistic option for businesses.
The first problem to address is the "Echo Effect". This effect makes a simple task a nightmare for every person inside the bathroom. Because of the tiled floor and walls, sound is bounced around and amplified in a bathroom. Singers like to vocalize and sing in restrooms for this exact reason but unfortunately most people that go to a public restroom are not part of an acapella group. To make matters even worse, the toilet itself is porcelain and just like the bowl you put your smartphone in to amplify the sound coming from the speakers, sounds made while seated are broadcast to everyone in the room (and sometimes beyond). This problem can be alleviated with the very easy installation of an exhaust fan in the ceiling. A public restroom should not be a place for conversing with other people so the sound of a fan should not bother anyone. The fan will help to drown out any unsettling sounds emitted from the stalls and will help to get rid of some of the microscopic fecal particles floating around in the average public restroom (don’t Google this, you will never be the same).
Next issue I have is with the design of the urinal and its splashback issue. The poorly-designed near-concave shape of the inside of the urinal is still flat enough at the back to make splashback a real problem. Those of us with enough experience will take a half-step to the side and allow the stream to hit the side-wall of the urinal at a low-impact angle and flow smoothly around the back and down the drain - thus eliminating any chance of splatter onto one's clothing. Some of the nicer bathrooms will have a splash-reducing “urinal screen” above the drain that allows for direct impact and keeps splashback to a minimum. These gels are ideal and are needed to make urinals civilized enough for use. These gels can be a life-saver - especially when wearing light colored pants. Since redesigning and implementing new urinals (which I've done and am keeping secret until my patent is approved) is expensive, to fix the splashback problem all we need to do is apply these urinal screens to all public urinals. Again these must be gel, not the flat plastic discs that look the part but bounce your stream back at you unless you hit them at exactly the right angle. This will cut down on 90% of the splashback problems. Some of them even emit a fresh scent when urinated upon. Those are not necessary but are very much appreciated.
Tagging onto the splashback issue, there is also a problem with how people end their streams. There is no widely known method to "shaking" so most people do it wrong and this leads to dripping. To prevent this dripping problem from forming a puddle on the floor, newer urinals have an extended front that reaches out far enough to catch any radicals that may escape post-shake. These urinals are essential because they are the simplest way to keep the floors cleaner. Also rubber mats beneath the urinal will help since they can be easily cleaned and used for many years.
What is the purpose of a stall in a restroom? If it is to keep the privacy of the person inside then I believe it does a poor job. It does not conceal the shoes of the person inside so when they leave the restroom they are still identifiable. I’m sure that I am not the only person to witness horrifying sounds and smells emanating from the stall just to later look for the shoes of the culprit so I can put a face to the person that has traumatized me. There is also a "slight opening" around the door of the stall where perverts can look in on a person while they are at their most vulnerable. Stall walls and doors should extend to the floor of the restroom. The door should also have a small piece of metal on its “locking edge” so that when the door is closed the added metal piece conceals any peeping opportunities around the door. I understand the concern though, allowing for so much privacy inside of a stall could lead to fornicating and drug use inside. I strongly feel that if someone is able to conduct amorous activities or willingly ingest anything while knowing the likelihood of contamination (again, if you want to know the facts, click here) then let them be heathens, just don’t ruin the experience of the majority because some people are disgusting.
You may be thinking that stalls should also have two-ply toilet paper, but you would be wrong. Toilet paper is a never ending expense to a business and having them provide two-ply tissue is a luxury, not a necessity (you should adapt your folding technique to compensate for the lacking-thickness of one-ply tissue). Just know that most people keep track of proprietors providing two-ply toilet paper so it can only help your business.
*Although let me say that any business that requires a certain dress code (suit jacket, tie, etc.) or demands premium prices (restaurants, hotels, etc.) for their services, YOU SHOULD HAVE TWO-PLY TOILET PAPER. If you expect anything special from a patron, know that they’re expecting a little something extra from you too.
Most people understand this but in case you don’t pay attention in the bathroom, everything should be automated. When flushing a urinal or toilet, I should never have to touch anything! Sensor technology now allows us to have easy and effective ways to walk away and have the urinal/toilet dispose of the waste on its own. It’s cleaner and easier. No one has to remember to flush and more importantly, I NEVER have to touch any gross, diseased, fecal-covered handles. Just because you can’t see it, doesn’t mean it’s not there (thank you Antonie van Leeuwenhoek). This sensor requirement also goes for sinks. I shouldn’t have to touch a gross handle, wash my hands, and then touch that same handle with my clean hands - thus, nullifying the cleaning process and leaving me with dirty hands. Placing my hands under the faucet should be enough to have the water flow. I don’t mind touching the soap dispenser since I immediately wash away the filth that comes with touching that.
There should also NEVER be an air-powered hand dryer in any bathroom! I’m okay with one-ply toilet paper but I will not allow this. Air-powered hand dryers just spew the bacteria-infested air back onto your hands so you just wasted time and resources on washing them when they’re just as dirty now as they were before. Paper towels are non-negotiable in a public restroom. They are essential to proper bathroom hygiene.
Lastly, doors should not require the use of a handle when leaving. Those handles are gross and I will not use them! Some people have the forethought to keep their paper towels after washing their hands to open the door, but if you’re in a bathroom with no paper towels only the flexibility and foot dexterity of a Rockette can save you from tainting your hands again. I love large buildings that have no doors and instead have a baby labyrinth to get in and out of the restroom. This is ideal but many businesses cannot sacrifice the square footage to allow for this. I’m aware of this issue and those businesses can either provide paper towels or a handicap button that automatically opens the door for me - their choice.
I know that I’ve thrown a lot at you and if you’re still reading this then I’m very grateful. I hope that these items can become a checklist for new businesses and maybe when my nephew grows up and has children, this layout can be the normal expectation of a public restroom in any business that cares.
